I’ve had conversations with people (believers, all; Christians, all) who wanted to know why I became an atheist. I’ve had enough of these conversations to find them tiresome. I’ve had enough of them to know that no good will come of repeating the experience. There were slight variations, but the conversations usually went something like this:
Them: Why did you become an atheist?
Me: [One or two, or if I’m lucky, three sentences about my early struggle with faith and doubt]
Them: Oh, but you don’t really believe that, do you?
Me: Yes—
Them: Seriously, though, you believe in God.
Me: No, I’m an atheist—
Them: Well, you just need to read the Bible.
Me: I have read it, three times.
Them: Well, you didn’t understand it, then.
Because there’s nothing like telling me to my face that I’m stupid (and telling me that I didn’t understand a book I’ve read three times is calling me stupid) to argue faith into me.
I get that some people read the Bible and find comfort and peace in the pages. I didn’t. I would read a few chapters and feel cold, empty, and alone. Reading a few more chapters left me even colder, emptier, and more alone. Reading some chapters made me angry. Some chapters made me hate myself, not because I was leaning toward atheism, but because I wasn’t already shouting my status as an atheist. But my religious leaders had successfully drilled into my young mind that atheists are necessarily evil, that it’s impossible to be good without God. I doubt the religious leaders of my youth had ever met an atheist, or given them a fair shake if they had.
I want to make a few things clear. I have absolutely no interest in trying to convert other people to atheism. I also have no interest in pretending to be a believer so believers can feel good about “saving my soul,” or whatever it is that makes it so important to them that I believe in a deity, preferably theirs. I do have an interest in keeping religion, particularly biblical literalism (Creationism, Intelligent Design, etc.) out of science classrooms. I care about my country. I would not hire a plumber who was trained by ballet dancers, or an electrician who was trained by dentists. (Or, for that matter, a dentist who was trained by electricians. I might be interested in a ballet performed by plumbers, but I would never confuse it with the real thing.) The content of biology textbooks should be determined by biologists. The content of geology textbooks should be determined by geologists. People who don’t know what the scientific method is should teach their children that they have to understand what their teachers say, but they don’t have to believe it. And if their children turn into scientists who don’t believe in the literal truth of the Bible, parents should love them anyway.
If you want to believe that Chthulhu, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and the Invisible Pink Unicorn butted heads in the sky, causing the Big Bang, fine. You’re entitled to that belief. But you’re not entitled to make science teachers teach it. But I digress.
I’m not as concerned with what other people believe about cosmology and spirituality and religion as I am with the First Amendment. As I read it, the US Founding Fathers considered it a dangerous thing for government to legislate what people think and believe, also their expression of their thoughts and beliefs. I take it a step further: It’s foolish for smaller organizations, and especially individuals, to try.
I am an atheist. That fact does not change your beliefs (or lack thereof), or at least it shouldn’t. If it does, then you probably had issues with your stated beliefs before you ever knew of my existence. But again, I am not interested in converting anyone to atheism; I respect that others’ experiences are not identical to my own. But I’m not going to try to explain or justify my lack of beliefs. Been there, done that. Should probably buy the T-shirt.
